I really need to catch up!  Though most of the more "interesting" things that have happened to us have included screaming, poop, or both, so perhaps it's not that big of a deal if I leave out a few of those episodes.  Grant is able to communicate a lot more now; he's really spitting out new words and the occasional phrase.  It's not complete sentences, but he's definitely learning.  One example is when we went to my mom's house and walked in, but she wasn't there.  He said in a very inquisitive tone of voice, "Ma?...  Go?"  It was so very clearly, "Where did grandMA GO?"  I feel like I can communicate a lot more, ask him questions and get fairly reliable answers.  I took him for a walk in the stroller today, and we went along the bike path by the freeway.  I haven't done that in a long time because Madeleine hates it.  But I kept asking him if he wanted to go more or go home, and he really knew what he wanted, which was "more".  And he loved telling me about the trucks and cars going by:  he'd tell colors and try to count them and tell me they were loud.  After two semi-trucks went by at the same time he put his hands over his ears, which is unusual for him.  (Madeleine will put her hands over her ears even if there is no risk of a loud noise, just as a response when she's scared by anything.) 

Hmm.  I lost my focus.  Maybe it's time to go read some books to this poop-throwing boy I have (come on, kid, really?  must you always grab it and throw it and tell me it's "big"??  must you?) and try to get him to go to sleep sometime this side of midnight.

For my mother.  I don't remember what I've showed you before, but here are most of them since January or so.

http://legoleaks.blog28.fc2.com/blog-entry-641.html

http://legodiem.tumblr.com/post/4552167815/grand-staircase-different-angle-by-eilonwy77

http://maskedandflare.wordpress.com/2011/04/12/the-kings-grand-staircase/

http://modelbuildingsecrets.wordpress.com/2011/04/19/perfect-little-egg/

http://legoexpress.tumblr.com/post/4187767799/weaving-by-eilonwy77

http://amodularlife.wordpress.com/2011/01/09/some-mocs-i-like-16/#comment-1647

http://mosaicbricks.blogspot.com/2011/02/just-give-up-now.html

http://blxbrx.blogspot.com/2011/01/lego-technique-stained-glass-and-floor.html

http://maskedandflare.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/twinkle-twinkle-little-star/

http://amodularlife.wordpress.com/2010/12/09/some-mocs-i-like-8/

I took Grant to the dentist this morning, and he was an angel.  He opened his mouth, said "ah", let them take an X-ray of his mouth...  That was interesting, because I sat down with a blanket on me, then he sat on my lap with a blanket on him, and then the dental assistant put on a blanket and held the film in his mouth, and the receptionist came and pushed the button to take the X-ray.  But there was no screaming ever!  He cried when we pulled into the parking lot, and after that he was all good.  He was cute, answering questions, telling colors and numbers, jumping up and down.  That was a miracle, I think, especially since he's dreadfully underslept.  (7 hours last night, 15 minute nap the day before, up 3 hours in the middle of the night the night before that....) 

But the not-good part is that they're going to pull his two front teeth as soon as he turns two-and-a-half.  With the trauma of the bang and the fact that the teeth are almost gone, there's nothing to save.  Bah.

I didn't mention that when I went to check on him last night when his crying got out of control, he was very insistent on cleaning everything up.  He wanted to wipe up all the wet spots, and wouldn't rest till we had.  He wasn't satisfied with me changing the wet sheets; he wanted to wipe them, too.  So I put the wet sheets on the floor for him to wipe while I put on dry ones.  He wanted to throw the bloody kleenex (he wiped his own bloody mouth, on his own, in the dark) in the garbage.  He had to have his pajamas wiped and changed (understandable).  He's really starting to want things to be cleaned and in the right places.  Madeleine was like that, but I wasn't sure if Grant would be.  He's a different sort of creature. 

Man, I'm tired and my head hurts now.  I've also got mommy guilt flying around in abundance.  With all the lack of sleeping and me being tired, I've let the kids watch too much TV, so now I've got the teeth guilt and the TV guilt and isn't it wonderful?

I should also make a little shout-out to my husband, who is wonderful.  When he came home from work yesterday he took the kids out to eat and then to the park, so that I could have some quiet time.  (I worked on my never-ending lego project, changing the color of the floor, shrinking the pattern.... it's so hard to change the color, and I just can't tell what looks good without trying out all the possibilities.  This is so labor intensive, and will totally not be worth the effort.)  Then he called his dad to see if he could babysit next Monday again.  And then when Grant woke up after two hours and was starting the whole crying debacle, he said that I could sleep in the basement tomorrow and he'd take care of Grant at night, so I could get 8 hours of sleep in a row.  I'm not sure if I know how to get 8 hours of sleep in a row anymore.

But-- despite all this venting of frustrations -- I'm happy and well and we have a great life and we feel lucky and blessed.  I just could use a bit less crying, bumping, pooping, peeing, whining, etc.  But they'll grow out of it, and then I'll miss how cute and cuddly and amazing they are.  At least, they're cute and cuddly and amazing when they're not peeing or pooping or bumping or screaming or whining or destroying....

Grant doesn't sleep; he just cries.  Maybe he'll sleep for 2 hours, and then wake up crying.  I couldn't console him last night, so I turned over a new leaf to let him cry it out.  I got him all nice and comfy in the toddler bed and left, and not too long later he got frantic.  I went back up to the room, and things were not so great.  He was out-of-control screaming.  He had managed to get my cup of water (which I thought was out of his reach) and spill it on the queen bed a little, and then dumped a large puddle by the door to the room.  His pajamas were all wet too.  My iPod touch was on the queen bed, which is not where I had left it.  The kleenex that I had left on the desk (next to where the water and the ipod touch had been) had blood on it.  I suspected his mouth, and his poor chipped tooth was bleeding from the gums, and I think it was chipped even more, and maybe the other one too -- it's awful, and I don't want to look again.  I need to call the dentist in the morning.  I've taken him in several times, but they kept telling me he was too young for them to fix it.  Now he won't have any teeth to fix. 

I felt terrible and horrible and awful and comforted him and now we've been up for over 3 hours and it's 1:30 a.m., and will he ever go to sleep?  But I can't leave him by himself.  He'll hurt himself and the room and it'll be awful.

Gotta go!

The amount of screaming, whining, pooping, peeing (of the accident kind), fighting, destroying, etc, was rather incredible today.  Now I'm wiped out.  Brian is very sweetly taking the kids for a walk to give me a few minutes to rest, but I'm too tired to really do much, I think.  At least when Grant pulled his poop out of his diaper, he then went to wash his hands.  Not that he can do it well, but he knew.  I wondered what he was doing in the bathroom with the water on (never a good thing, really), and found the hands all covered, as well as his clothes.  After I finally got him all cleaned up he came to me and said, "yuck-o!" and pointed to his pile of slimy poo on the carpet.  That's helpful, I guess, but it sure was messy.  And a short while later Madeleine found a bit more poo on the DUPLO plate by the train bridge, and that wouldn't wipe up well, either, so there was lots of scrubbing in the sink.  Too bad you can't take the carpet to the sink.

Madeleine has been so fussy the last few days.  I guess having a birthday and turning four will do that to a girl? 

She's 4!  How did that happen?

So, backing up to last week....  Madeleine had diarrhea for 4 days, and then Grant had diarrhea for 4 days.  I'm seriously tired of dealing with fecal matter.  Madeleine was doing up to 12 or so diapers a day, and some were truly horrible.  She would cry and say "this is a territ-able, territ-able diaper!"  I think it's so cute how she says "territ-able" instead of "terrible", and half the time I say it too.  How's she going to learn how to say the word correctly if I say it as wrong as she does?  Oh, well.  She can go off to college saying "territable" if she wants to.

I was moaning a bit about how messy things were today, and she told me, "This house is territ-able!"  Haley was here, and we both just laughed.  Man, these kids are cute when they're not screaming or being gross or destroying things. 

Brian called to tell me he was on the way home from work, but before anyone even said hello I went straight into the "I'm a saint!" line.  Then when we had dinner he opened up the ice wine that we got (when we went wine tasting for Karen's birthday) and said I deserved it, because I was a saint, and then made a toast in honor of me, for being a saint.  It's amusing, but also it pleased me.  And that ice wine stuff sure is good.  Matt got us three mystery cases of wine from his winery (we get 12 bottles for $20 -- it used to be even cheaper -- but we don't know what's in the case).  I opened the first one, and it had two Reserve Late Harvest Voignier (did I spell it right?  I've never had it till we went to Karen's birthday wine tasting day).  Yay!  And it had 4 rieslings, which is great, and then 6 reds that we can serve to our families when they come, since they tend to go for those.  I'm curious to see if the other cases are the same... I suppose I could go look, but I'm too tired. 

So I've been doing battle with that fancy tiled lego floor I made, trying to make it work with some stairs and some walls.  I've spent about two months coming to the conclusion that it's too big, and I should make it smaller.  Now I think I should just re-do the whole inner part, and that might work much better than trying to wrangle what I have into the shape I need.  I'll be able to make it the right size and have studs facing up where I need them more easily, and not have it in 3 pieces that won't hold together well.  All those other MOCs I made seemed so easy, and this seems like such an ongoing pain and I'm not sure that I see the end of the tunnel.  I have to reassure myself that I can make something of it, even if it's just a picture of a small corner or something, and all the rest is a disaster. 

I'm tired.  And suddenly I have no more urge to write.  I don't know what I feel up for.  But at least I got the house mostly clean and it is very quiet. 

I have lots to say, but I've been tasked with telling a story about Grant, and that might be all I get to at this point.

Yesterday Brian took the kids to the grocery store to order a cake for Madeleine's birthday party.  While he was doing the ordering, he let Grant roam freely around the store.  (Do you see where this is going?  And do you notice a hint of superiority in my tone, clearly implying that I would never have done such a thing?)  After a bit, another customer started laughing.  Brian looked, and there was Grant helping himself to some cake.  There were cakes for sale out where he could reach, and he was able to take off the lid and start digging in.  I asked Brian to describe what Grant was doing, and he says, "He was clawing in with one hand, and then taking it to his mouth."  (His breath sure did smell like yummy chocolate cake when he got home.)  Brian offered to buy it, but the employee just took it away.  Grant came back home to me screaming and with a hand all covered in chocolate crumbs.  I thought that he had hurt his hand (because of the screaming) and was going to kiss it, but then saw all the brown stuff on it.  I suddenly feared that it was poop, as he is notorious for grabbing his poop (and leaving it around the house).  But thankfully no!  It was just the remnants of a destroyed cake. 

It's so funny!  Brian was mortified of course, and says he's not taking Grant back to the store for 6 months, at least.  I suggested that he just strap him into the cart with the seat belt so helpfully provided by the store.  (Did you detect that tone of motherly superiority again?) 

Anyway, Grant is attacking me, so I think I'll go.  Lots more to write about later. 

Warning -- this is gross.  TMI and all that.  Poop and the like.  You've been warned.

Grant is so much trouble.  He's been grabbing his poop and pulling it out and yuck!  But today it wasn't poop that was the problem.  Earlier today I finally spanked him because he kept taking his pants and diaper off (usually if he has pants on he won't pull his diaper off, though he will reach in for his poo).  After his shower he peed on the carpet (again!  this is why he can't be a wild naked baby!)  Then I put him in a sleeper -- it's safer.  So then when it was time for bed he needed a new diaper.  I opened the sleeper, took off the old diaper, and while I reached for the new diaper, he peed (he never used to do this... it's just the last two nights or so), and it got all over his pajamas and on the sheets of the bed and I used the diaper I had grabbed to try to dry stuff up, so that diaper was wasted too.  So I had to take off his pajamas and get him a new diaper.  I got the diaper on, but needed in another sleeper.  It was in the dryer (he only has 4 and he's using them all the time now to cut down on the poop problems and I swear I do the laundry almost every day but he goes through a lot!) so I had to go get it.  While I went to the laundry room (right next door to the bedroom), he pulled off his diaper and called out "pee" or something and went into the bathroom.  So I go back to try to keep him out of trouble in the bathroom, and I find that he's sat himself up on the big potty without a potty seat and his bottom has fallen through into the water.  He never made a peep at all.  He was just sitting there with his bottom in the water, totally stuck.  I think he might have been processing what was going on; I think he was too surprised to fuss about it much.  So then I had all that watery mess to clean up too.  But I got him in a diaper AND a sleeper, and then had to go and re-make the bed.  The extra sheets for that bed were in the dryer too, because it was just last night that Grant had peed while I changed his diaper before bedtime and really got the sheets wet.  I see that this is a new pattern and we'll have to fix the problem somehow, most likely by NOT changing him on the bed.  It's just that for the entirety of his life he never peed during diaper changes.  Ever.  And now it's twice.  I tell him "No!" and that he's naughty, and he just repeats "naughty" and laughs.  Sigh.  I suppose I could have spanked him, but he was ripping his diaper off to try to go sit on the potty, and you can't really hold that against him.  I thought we'd just teach him to go on the big potty, but perhaps I should pull out the little ones for him.  He's not really ready to learn; he doesn't get all the concepts yet.  But he likes to imitate us.  He screams to sit on the potty, and then he always clucks his tongue.  It cracks me up.  He always clucks his tongue while sitting on the big potty.  He never actually pees, though.  Then he fusses for toilet paper, and he gets a little and doesn't wipe anything, but just throws it into the bowl.  Then he flushes and says "yay!"  Then we often wash hands, which turns into a whole big playtime, ripe for fussing or messes or both.

Argh!

  Oh, I love him.  But come on!  Can we be a little civil, please?

Madeleine was sick today.  It started with her not eating and then having a tantrum like she was a terrible 2-year old again.  I left her at my mom's while I went to the dentist, and I came back to find her sitting on my mom's lap, having not eaten much and just wanting to be held.  So I held her, and coaxed her into going to get a Fruit by the Foot (fruit rollup thingy).  She went and I noticed her pants were wet and asked if she'd had an accident.  She denied it, but then said she had a fart and some liquid came out.  Then she went on to call it a "special fart".  That made me laugh and laugh.  But she had diarrhea, which meant she got put back in diapers too.  So that was lots of fun changing those 5-6 diapers.  We all took a nap in the afternoon, but after Madeleine woke up she still seemed very unhappy.  I put her down to pack up and go home from my Mom's, but she lay on the floor moaning and saying she needed me.  So I picked her up and asked her if she needed to throw up, and after a bit of pressing she said "maybe", and I got her to the bathroom and she threw up a lot.  At least it was in the toilet and not all over me/her/the house.  And thankfully that was the only time she threw up.  Thank goodness!  But back at home she had a huge poopy diarrhea mess.  She had a lot of poop to change, she said, and I did, but it was soooo much liquid and when I lifted her legs to wipe it exploded out everywhere and rolled down her back up to her neck.  When I tried to throw the diaper out it dripped goo all over the table and into the pocket where we keep the creams, and it was TERRIBLE.  I was yelling loudly (and laughing), Madeleine was yelling loudly (and laughing) (and then she talked about how it was the worst poop ever! and then she apologized for it, and then laughed some more).  Brian complained from the other room that we sure were being dramatic, but then I rather demanded he come and see that the drama was fully warranted.  He wanted to just throw it all out, including the changing cloth, but I just had him take the kids up to the bath instead.  But Madeleine wanted to take a bath by herself, so Grant got put into the shower.  In the shower he was wild and crazy, hanging from the bar along the shower wall, jumping a bit, flopping, on and on.  He's a wild and crazy kid.  Madeleine mostly just sat in her bath without toys at all (unusual), but then she practiced "swimming" and even blew some bubbles (very rare for her; she's a scaredy cat) until she choked on the water and had a coughing fit.

Pee, poo, vomit, diarrhea....  what a day.

Yuck! 

3-21-11

I had the afternoon all to myself.  The kids went to Al’s and Ellen’s for the afternoon, and Brian is going to be able to pick them up, so I’ve had a nice 5 hours or so.  I had sort of thought I’d try to finish my lego staircase thingamajig that has been sitting half-done for a long time, but I didn’t.  I did manage to organize all the random legos sitting around, since I got a bunch from the pick-a-brick and had a bunch out.  I cleaned a bunch and played some plants vs. zombies and watched Merlin and reality ghost shows.  I don’t really feel like writing, but I did want to write about Madeleine going to the royal dress-up activity night at the Children’s Museum.  You got to dress up as a prince or princess, so Madeleine wore her fairy princess costume from Halloween.  She was so excited about it.  She put on tights and fancier shoes and had wings and her floral headband that came with the costume.  She was thrilled, and told us, “I’m going to be so graceful!”  I was surprised by the use of the word “graceful”, because it’s not really a word I use much with her.  At the Children’s Museum there were older girls from the Children’s Theater dressed up in really great princess costumes.  Madeleine just loved “the blue princess and the pink princess” and said, “they were soooo graceful!”  It’s true; they were.  They had had acting classes and were playing the part of princesses quite well.  But I don’t think that Madeleine really knows what ‘graceful’ means (or does she?).  I suspect that she’s heard it used in relation to princesses at some point, and so thinks that princesses are graceful by default.  Or – maybe she knows.  She’s a smartie; she very well could. 

I love the clouds and showers in the spring.  They’re so pretty, with the sun shining through. 

I know I have lots more to say, but I’m not feeling super-great and I can’t think of anything else.  At least I wrote about the “graceful” comment. 

Grant is doing some funny little things that seem to signal a new developmental stage.  I think they're rather typical toddler behavior, perhaps the kind of things that begot the name "the terrible twos".  The thing that really reminded me of Madeleine was just now, when he wanted to go to bed.  We turned off all the lights and the computers (as he insists we do, even if Brian is still up) and went to the stairs.  He always wants to be carried up the stairs, though he usually tells me "hands" first, which means to walk with me holding his hands.  This time I was carrying a lot of stuff and wanted to go fast, so I just grabbed him and asked, "carry?" and headed up the stairs.  He shrieked out "walk! walk!" and struggled up to the landing, so I let him down on the landing.  He went back down the stairs crying "walk! walk!" rather loudly.  I took my armload up the stairs and he screamed for me.  I went down to help him walk up the stairs (which he can do on his own, without even holding onto the walls, but not in the dark when he's tired), and as soon as I gave him my hand he said "carry!"  And then he wanted me to carry him!  Really?  I guess my mistake was in not letting him choose to begin with.  He always wants to be carried, but I guess it has to be HIS decision.

Now Madeleine would have screamed about that for a half-hour or more, but I got Grant to perk up pretty quickly with a singing book, and he even let me brush his teeth without fussing (a rarity), and then went to sleep quickly.  So -- yay!

Earlier this evening I was cooking dinner, and Grant found the small metal garbage can that Brian had left in the kitchen.  It goes upstairs, but had not been returned after being emptied.  Grant grabbed it and started banging it on the tile floor, and it was soooo loud.  Jarring.  I kept yelling in shock each time he did it, but was cooking and didn't stop him.  Brian got him after 3 bangs or so, and took the garbage can upstairs.  Grant fussed about this, and cried some, but not too much.  Then I finished cooking and went to find him, and he was just lying on the stairs, with his head on the third stop up, letting out little whines.  It was very quiet and ongoing.  I asked him if he was pouting, and he said "yeah", and I asked if he was sad because Daddy took the garbage can away, and he said "yeah" and then he got a bit more energetic and pointed up the stairs and said, "here!" to point the way that Daddy had taken the can.  (He loves to name something, a person, object or color, and then point to where he sees that thing and say "here!" with great enthusiasm.  He's so enthusiastic about things; I love it.)  So then I got Grant to come to dinner, and he wanted to be with me, but I was trying to help Madeleine and asked Grant to go sit next to Daddy where we had put his plate.  But Grant didn't want to sit next to Daddy; he was still mad!  He looked at Daddy, fussed, and then ran back to the stairs, lay down on them the same way as he had been, and started his pathetic little whining whimpers again.  I thought that was particularly hilarious:  he was mad at Daddy, and it was an ongoing little (quiet) tantrum.  It was like one of Madeleine's tantrums hooked up to severe anesthesia.  (I'm not sure if that metaphor works, but oh well.) 

Grant has been so sweet lately:  he is always going to people and saying 'hug! hug!" and giving hugs.  Madeleine doesn't always want them, but we try to say that it's because Grant loves her and she loves him (right?) and hugs were good, and Madeleine says she loves Grant when he's not too much trouble.  (Then I give the motherly spiel about loving people all the time, even if you don't like what they're doing at that moment, blah, blah, blah...)  When Madeleine is sad and crying (which she does loudly and fairly often), Grant will say, "Oh!" and then "cry!" and then if he's near her, he'll say "hug!" and go give her a hug to help her feel better.  It's soooo sweet. 

Madeleine does really sweet things for Grant, too, although I'm not thinking of them at the moment.  Something sweet she did today for other people happened this evening.  Before going to bed she told me she wanted to cut out hearts.  She picked four colors of paper, and told me just to fold them and draw the outline, and then she did all the cutting.  She cuts so well!  I didn't watch her, but I saw them when she was done.  She had accidentally cut a wrong spot, and she got tape herself and fixed it up perfectly.  I thought Daddy had done it for her, but when I said this, she said, "I know where the tape is" as if any fool could get the tape and put it on and what was the difficulty in that?  She then folded all the four hearts together like a book, with the largest one on the outside to be a cover.  Then she said that they were for Grandma Ellen and Grandpa Alan.  They came home today!  Yay!  We can't see them yet, as they just got home and are super busy, but Al had called, and now I realize that it was right after he called to say they were home (two days early) that Madeleine asked to cut paper hearts.

She's growing up.  They're both growing up.  I feel like they've really advanced this last little while.  Al and Ellen will be surprised when they see them, especially with how Madeleine can read and how Grant can talk a lot more.

I have lots of strange thoughts about God and death and tragedy and the ephemeral nature of life, and also of technology advancing at an exponential rate and more.  But -- this is long enough for now.

And... if the grandparents babysit the kids sometime, I might get back into the lego habit.  We'll see. 

Good night!

Madeleine is so fun.  Well, sometimes the screaming is a problem.  But there is lots of greatness going on there.  She was so upset that her birthday party wasn't going to be on her actual birthday.  I tried explaining about how Uncle Matt couldn't come on her actual birthday.  She seems to be resigned to it now, I think.  I think she's still a bit confused, as she says she's going to have just a little party on the day before her birthday, implying there would be something bigger on her actual birthday.  We'll do something for her, but not everyone in the extended family will be there. 

The last few days she's been taking stickers, putting them onto colored construction paper, and then cutting them out.  She's been collecting a lot of them, and wants to give them to the guests on her birthday.  Today she told me that she'd give Uncle Matt his on the day before her birthday, since he couldn't come on her actual birthday.  Then she said she was going to make him a card, too.  It turns out she wants to give stickers and cards to everyone who comes to her birthday.  Of course, they might have to show up on the actual day if they want to get their cards and stickers.  I think only Matt gets a pass, since he works at night and couldn't come to an evening party. 

Madeleine also keeps remembering that when we went to Seattle she got to eat some really yummy gummy snacks in the hotel.  She wants to write a book and put that in it.  I plan on writing a book about our Seattle trip with her today at my mom's.  If I'm not sleeping:  that Grant woke me up at 4 a.m. today, and I couldn't fall asleep till after midnight.  So, it's definitely nap time!

I couldn't sleep well because I was thinking about the fragility of life and families ripped apart (note to my future self:  there was the earthquake in Japan which I've been following; it didn't bother me till just last night) and how my kids won't be cuddling with me forever, but will all die.  And if your faith is shaky there might be some doubt as to what happens after, and that's just a scary thing.  Oh, my poor kids.    Oh, poor humanity. 

I guess for Lent suffering and death is an appropriate thing to meditate upon.  I'd really like Easter to come.