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Warning -- this is gross. TMI and all that. Poop and the like. You've been warned.

Grant is so much trouble. He's been grabbing his poop and pulling it out and yuck! But today it wasn't poop that was the problem. Earlier today I finally spanked him because he kept taking his pants and diaper off (usually if he has pants on he won't pull his diaper off, though he will reach in for his poo). After his shower he peed on the carpet (again! this is why he can't be a wild naked baby!) Then I put him in a sleeper -- it's safer. So then when it was time for bed he needed a new diaper. I opened the sleeper, took off the old diaper, and while I reached for the new diaper, he peed (he never used to do this... it's just the last two nights or so), and it got all over his pajamas and on the sheets of the bed and I used the diaper I had grabbed to try to dry stuff up, so that diaper was wasted too. So I had to take off his pajamas and get him a new diaper. I got the diaper on, but needed in another sleeper. It was in the dryer (he only has 4 and he's using them all the time now to cut down on the poop problems and I swear I do the laundry almost every day but he goes through a lot!) so I had to go get it. While I went to the laundry room (right next door to the bedroom), he pulled off his diaper and called out "pee" or something and went into the bathroom. So I go back to try to keep him out of trouble in the bathroom, and I find that he's sat himself up on the big potty without a potty seat and his bottom has fallen through into the water. He never made a peep at all. He was just sitting there with his bottom in the water, totally stuck. I think he might have been processing what was going on; I think he was too surprised to fuss about it much. So then I had all that watery mess to clean up too. But I got him in a diaper AND a sleeper, and then had to go and re-make the bed. The extra sheets for that bed were in the dryer too, because it was just last night that Grant had peed while I changed his diaper before bedtime and really got the sheets wet. I see that this is a new pattern and we'll have to fix the problem somehow, most likely by NOT changing him on the bed. It's just that for the entirety of his life he never peed during diaper changes. Ever. And now it's twice. I tell him "No!" and that he's naughty, and he just repeats "naughty" and laughs. Sigh. I suppose I could have spanked him, but he was ripping his diaper off to try to go sit on the potty, and you can't really hold that against him. I thought we'd just teach him to go on the big potty, but perhaps I should pull out the little ones for him. He's not really ready to learn; he doesn't get all the concepts yet. But he likes to imitate us. He screams to sit on the potty, and then he always clucks his tongue. It cracks me up. He always clucks his tongue while sitting on the big potty. He never actually pees, though. Then he fusses for toilet paper, and he gets a little and doesn't wipe anything, but just throws it into the bowl. Then he flushes and says "yay!" Then we often wash hands, which turns into a whole big playtime, ripe for fussing or messes or both.
Argh!
Oh, I love him. But come on! Can we be a little civil, please?
Madeleine was sick today. It started with her not eating and then having a tantrum like she was a terrible 2-year old again. I left her at my mom's while I went to the dentist, and I came back to find her sitting on my mom's lap, having not eaten much and just wanting to be held. So I held her, and coaxed her into going to get a Fruit by the Foot (fruit rollup thingy). She went and I noticed her pants were wet and asked if she'd had an accident. She denied it, but then said she had a fart and some liquid came out. Then she went on to call it a "special fart". That made me laugh and laugh. But she had diarrhea, which meant she got put back in diapers too. So that was lots of fun changing those 5-6 diapers. We all took a nap in the afternoon, but after Madeleine woke up she still seemed very unhappy. I put her down to pack up and go home from my Mom's, but she lay on the floor moaning and saying she needed me. So I picked her up and asked her if she needed to throw up, and after a bit of pressing she said "maybe", and I got her to the bathroom and she threw up a lot. At least it was in the toilet and not all over me/her/the house. And thankfully that was the only time she threw up. Thank goodness! But back at home she had a huge poopy diarrhea mess. She had a lot of poop to change, she said, and I did, but it was soooo much liquid and when I lifted her legs to wipe it exploded out everywhere and rolled down her back up to her neck. When I tried to throw the diaper out it dripped goo all over the table and into the pocket where we keep the creams, and it was TERRIBLE. I was yelling loudly (and laughing), Madeleine was yelling loudly (and laughing) (and then she talked about how it was the worst poop ever! and then she apologized for it, and then laughed some more). Brian complained from the other room that we sure were being dramatic, but then I rather demanded he come and see that the drama was fully warranted. He wanted to just throw it all out, including the changing cloth, but I just had him take the kids up to the bath instead. But Madeleine wanted to take a bath by herself, so Grant got put into the shower. In the shower he was wild and crazy, hanging from the bar along the shower wall, jumping a bit, flopping, on and on. He's a wild and crazy kid. Madeleine mostly just sat in her bath without toys at all (unusual), but then she practiced "swimming" and even blew some bubbles (very rare for her; she's a scaredy cat) until she choked on the water and had a coughing fit.
Pee, poo, vomit, diarrhea.... what a day.
Yuck!